Abbreviated

Language criticism wherever you look! The greatest outrage continues to be triggered by gendering, which is rejected by a large proportion of the population and yet is enforced by the authorities. In addition to Orwellian gender-speak, many people criticize the brutalization, infantilization and Anglicization of the German language. My personal biggest problem is rarely discussed and questioned. Welcome to the strange world of abbreviations and acronyms! Is it just me?

Lol, Rofl, Omg and co! Even in the age of text messaging, I had to constantly ask what exactly was meant by each abbreviation. When the letter emojis left the cell phones and entered the spoken world, my confusion grew. I now save myself the trouble of asking. After all, I'm one of those idiots who wanted to know from a stuffy society what exactly a MILF was. Since this embarrassment, my motto has been "Silence is silver, googling is gold!" But ignorance is not my only problem. I regularly find myself associating something different to the general public. 

RIP means either Rest in Peace or Requiem in Pace. This is how almost everyone translates the three letters to express their sympathy for the death of a loved one or B-list celebrity in digital forums. Except me. The typesetter in me forever associates RIP with a raster image processor. Presumably these processors no longer exist in the age of artificial intelligence. May they rest in peace.

ESC? ESC actually means Eurovision Song Contest, of course. Isaak won the German preliminary round in Berlin on February 16 with his song "Always on the run". I associate ESC with the escape key at the top left of the keyboard. It's a way of taking a digital escape from the computer at home. On the other hand, I have also been escaping from the singing skills of the German ESC candidates for years. In this respect, the circle is complete. I'm always on the run.

MSC? That almost sounds like ESC. Rumor has it that a security conference was held in Munich between February 16 and 18. I doubt that, because to be on the safe side, every voice that could have turned the war monologue into a peace dialog was disinvited. So the MSC became the Munich Selfie Contest. That fits again! You just have to be able to interpret the letters of the time correctly. 

WTF! "What the fuck" is something I think to myself more and more often when I enter and look at the media landscape. I refused to use this abbreviation for years because it was too vulgar for me. As soon as I allow it, it's yesterday's news. The outraged citizen no longer says "fuck" but only FCK.

FCK? This combination of letters is used to express your dislike of people and parties. The messages FCK PTN, FCK NZS, FCK AfD and now also FCK GRN are very popular at the moment. Strictly speaking, these are not acronyms because a vowel, in this case the "u", is thought into the copulating FCK. Vowels are overrated. That's how the human brain works, except for mine. When I think of FCK, I think of the soccer clubs Kaiserslautern and Cologne.

Alait? This abbreviation does not yet officially exist, but will soon be included in the unofficial abbreviation dictionary. It stands for "as long as it takes". The German Chancellor wants to support Ukraine militarily for as long as it takes, whatever the cost. When I read this, I decided to write to Olaf Scholz personally by email. When exactly? As soon as possible.

Asap! As soon as possible! I'll do that as soon as possible. My email will be politely worded, after all I am writing to the Chancellor of Respect. Scholz repeatedly assures me and all other German citizens of YNWA. Every soccer fan knows that this abbreviation stands for "You'll never walk alone". The letter ends with MfG!

Yours sincerely? No. With a progressive stomach ulcer.