The great flirting guide

What's up? What's up with the girls?

Sometimes I miss the days when men used to ask such questions and then exchange flirting tips and promising pick-up lines. And, of course, you would brag about one or two recent female conquests. There was often a toxic mixture of testosterone, alcohol, nicotine and sweat in the air. At the other end of the pub or disco, i.e. where the adored girls were sitting, the air smelled much more pleasant. Presumably the truthfulness of the conversations was also higher there, what actually happened during the alleged conquests or rather - what did not.

What's going on today? What's going on in flirting today?

Rien ne va plus. Nothing works anymore, as far as I can tell as an uninvolved party. Why is that? At the risk of losing half of the readership - it's due to an at least partially toxic female society that cleverly persuades us men that we are still in a toxic male society. Incidentally, I think this female strategy is very clever. Chapeau! Instead of the flirting guide advertised in the headline, there are warnings about what is no longer allowed in the human rut. The good old exclusion principle often leads to the goal. 

What is no longer possible today? Catcalling is a no-no. This Anglicism refers to lewd comments, shouts, gestures, whistles and even glances. So this behavior will soon be punishable by law. In reality, it looks like this: An old white man - these are the worst - is sitting outside a street café at the height of summer when, by chance, a scantily clad young woman strolls in front of him as if in slow motion. If he looks after this lady - he perceives her in his male primitiveness as a "10 out of 10" - with his mouth open on the catwalk of the pedestrian zone, it is already a criminal offense of catcalling. The penalty increases if the old white lecher unconsciously utters an audible "Holla die Waldfee". It is important to know that the lady in my example case, who is dressed in a hint of nothing, does not want attention and generally considers appreciative glances to be harassment.

How and where will it end? I'll tell you. It ends with every form of contact soon being suspected of sexism. Nevertheless, we're going into close combat in the hypothetical event that a first date takes place. Here, too, there are no-goes for men.

As a man, you should definitely refrain from giving physical compliments! No woman wants to hear that she has beautiful eyes or even a tight bottom. This reduces the lady of your heart to her outer appearance and indirectly insults her inner self. You've read it all before. You want to settle the bill as a gentleman? Absolutely not. The woman could misunderstand this courtesy and feel under pressure to settle the bill with other services. Worse still. With an invitation, the man gives the woman the feeling that she is socially and financially inferior to him. And yes - we've read it all before.

What is still possible for men and women? A lot is possible online.

Digital questionnaires can be used to determine whether a man and woman are a match. Social status, star sign, sexual preferences, hobbies, hometown and much more? Tick the boxes and the computer will tell you a human operating system that is 92 percent compatible with your inner operating system. The PC knows whether the other person is a loser or an elite even before the first contact is made. Could there be more romance?

Are you laughing? The topics of sexuality, flirting and dating are more serious than they appear on the surface. Here too, as in many other areas of society, there is a strange contradiction. On the one hand, there is a bourgeois hypersensitivity to perceive even the smallest gesture, even the use of the wrong pronoun, as an assault. On the other hand, there is a tendency to tolerate actual pathological perversions or the early sexualization of children under the umbrella of the rainbow.

What works? That's not possible.

Perhaps my late grandfather was right. He had the right saying for every situation in life. Such wisdom can also be contradictory, at least when it comes to choosing the right partner. Opposites attract! Thanks for that tip, Grandpa. Birds of a feather flock together! Yes, what now, Grandpa? He didn't give me any flirting tips or promising pick-up lines along the way, just good advice for life as a whole. Go for the bacon! To be fair, it has to be said that Grandma actually wore the pants. Her infamous coffee mornings were taboo for any man. Speaking of which?

What's up? What's up with the guys?

Dear readers of the club of clear words. When they put their heads together and talk about us men, where it usually smells better and the truth content of the conversations is higher, so when they do that and talk about what works and what doesn't with men - what are their answers?

Butter to the fish! They absolutely have to tell us men so that we don't die stupid. Especially the ones they've been in a relationship with or married to for ages.