Health care

by Peter Löcke //

Do you know what makes you ill? Health care. Health care. The term health care has been triggering me since March 2020 at the latest. 

Justice, equality, education, food, prosperity, clean water, clean energy and, above all, health. Health for every citizen of the world, health for everyone and every woman on planet Earth, which is finally clinically healthy. These are the 17 UN Sustainable Development Goals in a nutshell. Why didn't people think of building paradise on earth earlier in human history? Why do I think these supposedly healthy goals are a sick Trojan horse ridden by power-obsessed geopoliticians?

That's why I avoid the term health care as my personal health care. I break out in a sweat and my pulse quickens as soon as I hear that another health congress is being held with Billy Boy Gates, billionaire NGOs, high-ranking politicians, WHO delegates and representatives of the pharmaceutical lobby. It works quite well. Until last night.

My old analog alarm clock had given up the ghost. What to do? Naturally, I reached for my smart phone. Somewhere in the depths of the small computer there must be an alarm clock function. After all, there was one on my first Nokia twenty years ago. Unfortunately, I ended up in the wrong app. One wrong turn and I found myself in the Health app. This is where I could set up my sleep schedule. Here I could enter when I wanted to go to bed and when I wanted to get up again and my cell phone would remind me with a ringtone. Please what?

"When I go to bed, I want to decide for myself and spontaneously, my dear cell phone. That's none of your business. I just want to be woken up by you."

Yes. I talk to objects when I'm angry. Since I've been angry before and was in the health field anyway, I looked around. It was going to be an encounter of the third kind. From A for mindfulness to topics such as nutrition and vital signs to Z for cycle log, everything can be documented and logged here. Even sexual behavior. Do people do that? Did I have no sex last week? Monday failed, Tuesday failed and so on. That's fine. It's just a voluntary offer. To each animal his own. 

But then I discovered the menu items Activity and Mobility. Voluntary offer my ass. The Big Apple is watching you! I walked 1.2 kilometers yesterday, taking 2131 steps and climbing twelve floors. Really? My walking speed was 2.5 kilometers per hour with an average stride length of 43 centimeters. No faster? According to my cell phone, the percentage of my asymmetrical gait is 26.2 percent and my bibedal support time is 34.9 percent. That doesn't sound good at all. I start talking to my cell phone again. As I said: health care makes you angry and sick. Stress makes you ill.

"What the hell is a bipedal support duration? Asymmetrical gait? I didn't drink any alcohol yesterday. And above all, dear cell phone: you were lying alone on your desk most of the time. What's with these insinuations? How do you know all this? It's none of your fucking business. Just ring me tomorrow at half past six and stay out of my life otherwise."

Maybe I overreacted. My smartphone only wants to solve the problems that I wouldn't have without it. What is certain is that it took me a long time to recover from this health stress. I felt better after a cigarette. Only then was I able to fall asleep.

Today I immediately bought a new alarm clock. It was almost midday. Unfortunately, I overslept.

Articles identified by name do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the publisher.

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14 Responses

  1. Yes, brave new world. At some point, in our beautiful new, oh-so-hip, smart home, the fridge will automatically order and dispense only "healthy food" for us. Instead of beer, we'll get parsley juice or whatever else we need so that we don't suffer from deficiency symptoms.... a sensor in the toilet will analyze our waste in detail.
    Isn't that wonderful? Goodbye self-determination, personal responsibility and freedom. And the advancing digitalization is also so practical. We no longer even need to think for ourselves. Some people find that very difficult anyway and it's no longer really desirable. Alexa and co. already do that for many people. Welcome to the digital land of milk and honey. Until that time comes, I'm enjoying the consumption of cigarettes, meat and unhealthy carbohydrates.

  2. Dear Mr. Löcke,
    They have a very nice way of dispelling the fog of time and luring out the sun. Why so simple when it can be complicated is the command of time. I love my good old alarm clock!!!
    Thank you very much

    1. Wonderfully expressed Mr. Lange.
      I am happy to go along with that.
      Fortunately, I always wake up on time without an alarm clock,
      but if necessary I would still have my beloved Dugena wind-up alarm clock.
      I love living without a cell phone or smartphone.
      Oh how beautiful and liberating it is to be old-fashioned...

  3. Dear Mr. Löcke, dear Mr. Langemann,
    If it weren't for people like you, it would often be despairing. Some days you really think you've ended up in a madhouse. But thank God, there are still people out there who still think for themselves. I often have to laugh heartily at their anecdotes. They save my day when they tell me about the absurdities you can encounter. You've already experienced something similar.
    Stay strong and please stay tuned and thank you very much.

  4. How I can empathize with that: Analog alarm clock broken! Mine, even though it was battery-powered, lasted almost 30 years and gave up the ghost, presumably due to corona, in 2020. I was extremely sad because the thing had seen a lot and, as I said, was old and associated with important memories. It was also black and beautifully designed, fitting neatly into any pocket without any protruding buttons, even in my trousers. Its dial was adorned with the name Junghans, a name that has resonated for generations, and it is still waiting to be disposed of in a box full of electronic waste. A second analog-electric alarm clock is also inside. It lacks a name. Instead of being battery-operated, it had solar cells and a rechargeable battery. I thought that was smart and treated myself to it later, despite having a Junghans. But it broke faster. - Well, like you, Mr. Löcke, I was faced with a small wake-up problem. However, thanks to my bank, I had a solution in the form of a smart phone with an alarm clock function, which I had to install with an indispensable app, but no SIM card. After all, I have been using my prepaid SIM card, which is in an ancient "mobile phone" rather than the smart phone, for years and years and rarely uses it, and (almost) does not collect any unwanted data. Then the battery of the "cell phone" is old and weak, so I prefer to save energy (hear, hear!) and don't even switch it on most of the time. Maybe one day I'll find one of those phones in a box of odds and ends from my parents' house that you could "wind up" without thinking about children or teasing others. And which got you out of bed almost instantly without the need for a dangerous "slleep" function. Because they simply woke you up. But loudly!

  5. Screech, laugh, ha ha ha.... Health Care.... It would have been enough for me 4 years ago if some doctor had told me what I was suffering from. Health Care on your cell phone doesn't help either, I also always like those guys on YouTube (who want to make a lot of money for it) who want to show you some exercises you absolutely have to do via video for a fee if you have this or that problem. Well, I used to go to the doctor when I had a problem, but even that can no longer be relied on today..... Except maybe for the gene injection.

  6. There were times when the annoying-sounding alarm clock was thrown into a bucket of water. This is guaranteed to work just as well with a smartphone.

  7. Dear Löcke,

    wonderful your little tour of the digital alarm clock function! And also to Mr. Langemann, thanks for the interview with HG Maaßen!

    I am always very happy when a "health apostle" pretends to know exactly which of my many "aches and pains" he absolutely wants to treat without knowing the illness or the patient and doesn't care whether I have his supposed illness at all. Something is being treated, period! -

    All other malais(es) remain untouched, we all just have to have a single disease. Humans adapted to THE only permitted disease. And the only permitted countermeasure. Hooray, we don't need doctors anymore.

    Health care against a uniformly permitted disease, completely without advice and individual needs or physical possibilities. Important, it is measured! That is scientific!

    How simple life can be.

  8. Perhaps it would simply help not to have a "smartphone". My "senior cell phone" (which is actually also a defamatory term) is simply a mobile phone, no more and no less, which saves me from the kind of distortions described above because it simply doesn't have these functions.

    You are not immune to health care anyway, the city is plastered with health care COVID-19 PCR and citizen test stations, whether DRK, Malteser or Samariter, pharmacies or anything else, orthopaedists offer Covid-19 "vaccinations" on huge banners, ............

    Help, I'm not a star, but get me out of here!!!

    1. Good evening, Mr. Linsner,

      I had to smile when I read your lines because I also have a cell phone for senior citizens.
      I can use it to make calls and texts and I enter the numbers using the large keys.
      I love this simple and straightforward little vehicle.

      Kind regards
      Tilda

  9. Dear Mr. Löcke
    Thank you for these beautiful lines. I had just read how healthy you have to be to enter a hospital. Sometimes I have the feeling we are living in a madhouse.

  10. "Brave" new world.
    And many find it completely normal, progressive and "cool" .....
    Such a sensor will soon be implanted internally, voluntarily (for the time being).

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