Petry Heil. On the art of interrogation.

The white negro Wumbaba! Small manual of interrogation. [1]

This is the title of one of the most successful books by journalist and author Axel Hacke from 2004. I loved this book and still love it. Don't be confused by the subtitle. It is not about the interrogation methods of secret services or other dark forces. Rather, the book is about human interrogation. Just as there are slips of the tongue, there are also interrogators. The reasons for this are complex. They can be psychological. People tend to hear what they want to hear instead of what is really said and meant. In addition, terms with different meanings often sound similar or even the same. In this case, we speak of homophones such as cold & Celtic. Long story short? The white negro Wumbaba does not exist, but "the white mist wonderful" does. The latter is a verse from the famous evening song "The moon has risen" by Matthias Claudius.

I loved Axel Hacke not only for his humorous anthology of misunderstood songs and other texts. His commentaries as one of the authors of Streiflicht, the daily column in the Süddeutsche, were always a literary feast. Back then, the Süddeutsche was still a newspaper. Older readers will remember. There was also a - well - infantile joy and vanity. Hacke & Löcke? That sounds almost similar. How flattering for me. It's easy to mishear. What would a phonetic name compromise of Hacke and Löcke look like? Maybe Höcke? Holy shit - I think that's a bad idea for marketing reasons. Quick change of subject.

There is a specific reason why I had to think of Hacke's book again after more than twenty years. You may have read about the case. During a livestream, a young Youtuber is said to have spread the banned slogan "Sieg Heil". At least that's what the Braunschweig public prosecutor's office claims and is demanding a fine of 16,000 euros. The corresponding video is embedded in the Apollo article [2]. Form your own opinion at the source. My analysis is: this is a classic Wumbaba. Of course, nobody is spreading banned, right-wing extremist ideas there. In my opinion, the real joke lies elsewhere. The official statement says that an officer from the Braunschweig police claimed to have overheard the banned greeting. I think my interpretation is much more likely.

The art of interrogation and the art of interrogation methods have reached a new level. Authorities are proactively scouring platforms using artificial intelligence to try to detect forbidden messages with Orwellian imagination. I do not believe that this is a conspiracy theory. To illustrate this, I'll tell you a story that came from my spontaneous columnist imagination, but which seems quite realistic. Hacke would be proud of me.

Imagine two men who are friends and meet up on a Friday to go fishing together on Saturday. Since both guys, I'll call them Matthias and Claudius, are toxically masculine, they like to talk about their latest female conquests. That was partly a fib. Men don't talk much, anglers even less. Be that as it may - early on Saturday, "The sun has risen", my fictional story involves a momentous greeting dialog that is doubly justiciable.

Matthias: Petri Heil!
Claudius: Thank you very much!
Matthias: Is she horny?
Claudius: Yes, thank God!

That makes a total fine of 32,000 euros for two offenses under Section 86a of the Criminal Code in the event that Matthias and Claudius were carrying their smartphones and this dialogue was recorded. The first offense is quickly apparent. "Petry Heil" or "Heil Petry" is a banned slogan for the former AfD chairwoman Frauke Petry. She is currently founding a new party. Resist the beginnings! The second misdeed is hidden in verse three of the morning song by Matthias and Claudius. In the chauvinistic phrase "Sie geil", artificial intelligence and Brunswick police officers would recognize a forbidden greeting for a dictator who rampaged through Germany ninety years ago. Say it loud and fast and you'll understand what I mean.

Nothing seems absurd enough in the Germany of 2025 that it could not be reality tomorrow. To protect myself and this platform, I naturally distance myself from all controversial formulas, terms and people used in this column, including the wonderful Axel Hacke. I assume that the Handbook of Interrogation has either already been banned or will appear in a new edition under a different title. 

The white N-word is no longer there! Large manual of interrogation.