by Peter Löcke //
Claas Relotius. In Germany, the name is synonymous with the so-called lying press. Initially celebrated as the star and figurehead of Der Spiegel and elevated to the media Olympus with prizes, the journalist's fall from grace came when it emerged that his reports belonged to the fantasy genre.
I felt sorry for him. There were and still are many journalists who are not much more decent than Relotius, but who get off scot-free. Above all, they don't have his linguistic talent. I still admire Relotius' linguistic creativity to this day. I mean that without irony. So I was happy for Claas Clever when he published a Got a job as a copywriter at the Jung von Matt agency. He has paid enough for his mistakes. It has to be good at some point.
The advertising agency in question made a smart decision by hiring Relotius in January 2023. And just under two years later, "Jung von Matt" has landed a big fish with the Green Party as its client. This was announced on November 12, 2024 officially in a press release confirmed.
The twelfth of November? I maintain that the actual Green election campaign and the cooperation between the party and the agency already began in September. I can't prove that. The meeting I am about to write about may have been entirely the product of my own Relotius fantasy. Nevertheless, perhaps you will accompany me to a fictitious meeting, which I will date to Monday, September 23, 2024. Present at this meeting are team leader Claas Relotius, his creative left hand Annika and client Robert Habeck. It is pure fiction. Or is it not? Real events are embedded in my fiction and linked in the text.
Claas: I was really flabbergasted. Are there really going to be new elections in the spring? Thanks again for awarding Jung und Matt the contract to design the Green election campaign. Thank you, Robert.
Robert: You were our number one from the very beginning. You've already done a good job for Merkel. But now "butter to the fish"! What did your problem analysis reveal? You had two weeks to do it.
Annika: Yes, hello from me too. I once left Hamburg, spent ten days in Germany with real people and what can I say? There are two prejudices against the Greens. You have two problems. Problem number one is: You are perceived as ideologues. As unrealistic. As people who have never held a scoop in their hands and who know nothing about real life. We have to fight against this prejudice.
Robert: And how?
Claas: Nouripour and Lang must go. They will be replaced by Brantner and Banaszak. You need new faces.
Robert: I don't understand that. Ricarda and Omid are very popular with us. And Felix and Franziska can't hammer a nail in the wall either. So what's the point?
Claas: Felix and Franziska have at least a degree and are also slim. Trust me! Very important ... Banaszak should say the following during his first TV appearance: "If there's one thing the Greens can do, it's work!" That's the new mantra from now on. From now on, you are a party of painters.
Robert: Okay. You're the expert, Claas. What else? Annika talked about two problems. What's prejudice number two? Be honest, Annika.
Annika: Well, yes. You enjoy the image of being a party of arrogant explaining bears. People have the feeling that you preach from above instead of listening to what really moves people. We also have to fight against this prejudice.
Robert: But how is that supposed to work? Besides, that's true (Robert chuckles).
Claas: You go to Germany's kitchen tables now and listen to people's problems. Listen instead of explain, Robert. That's what it's all about. Don't worry! You're not really doing that. But the locations and scripts are already in the works. Trust me! I'm the expert.
Robert: Deal. That's how we do it. Anything else?
Claas: Yes, you have to go back to X. No Musk, no fun!
Robert: Oh no. Please don't go to that den of iniquity, Twitter. I'd rather go to Miosga and Maischberger.
Claas: You can continue to do that, Robert. The Miosga likes you, by the way. You're going back to that den of iniquity. That's where the music is played, not in the blue sky. And when you do, please use a profile picture in which you roll up your sleeves. There are enough Bachelor pictures of you looking cute. Remember the new mantra? If there's one thing Greens can do, it's work!
Robert: Deal. That's how we do it. Then everything would actually be settled. And you think we'll get away with it?
Claas: Trust me! The other parties probably won't start campaigning until December. That will give us a head start. Incidentally, the FDP will be the new AfD. They're tripping themselves up. I've just heard about an own goal that's really blatant ... but we'll discuss that on D-Day!
Robert: Phew. Thank you, Claas. You really are the best advertising agency ever. I'm grateful to you too, of course. Do you have another question for me, Annika? You can be honest.
Annika: Now that the ink is dry on our contract, I really have a question that concerns me. You already have an advertising agency that costs almost ten billion. Why do the Greens need Jung von Matt?
Articles identified by name do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the publisher.
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One Response
Even today, it is beautiful to see how, in all the circumstances under which the country is being worn down, those whose vocation gives them only one leg to stand on can be found. This leg, of course, has a name. Whether it's the Green Party, Relotius or any advertising agency, all these 'institutions' live from, with and through lies. And that wouldn't even be worth mentioning as long as they do it on a stage that is irrelevant to everything else in the real world. But that's not the case, because they position themselves politically and try to legitimize the false game of left-wing ideologues as a world view. A world view in which there are only victims of lies or convinced liars. And that is what is celebrating a media-political boom in this country. The professional attempt to accuse all those who do not deny themselves and accept their role as victims (communism) of untruth with a dilettantish lie.