The crazy top ten of the week

The Club of Clear Words is not a classic news site. This has the disadvantage of being slower than others. It has the advantage of letting things sink in and looking at them from a distance. The following ten tweets and news items of madness are all from the first week of November. To make the menu more digestible, I have spiced it up with sarcasm. Enjoy your meal.

1.) "Twitter can only remain relevant if these very rats [...] are beaten back into their holes."
The unknown ARD journalist Nils Dampz is finally known. Nils is concerned about political hygiene on the mob platform Twitter after Elon Musk's hostile takeover. After all, in Woke City, people want to keep to themselves, because dissenters are radicals. With radicals, you have to get radical. To stay colorful, to prevent brown, you have to resort to brown language yourself. That's what Nils thought. Well, okay. He probably didn't think so, but simply took a swipe. Take a vacation, Mr. Dampz. Take Rat-Böhmermann and Appendix-Bosetti with you. Start a self-help group and talk about projection.

2.) "By the way: the Ukrainian army also repelled this attack and turned hundreds of Russians into fertilizer."
Dehumanization? Verbal foaming at the mouth? I can do better than that, thought BILD-Julian. Not Reichelt, but Röpcke. Röpcke used to be called Conflict Reporter until he was picked up by Springer in 2015. Julian Röpcke deleted the tweet. Out of insight? No. Because, according to his own statement, it was suggested to him. 

3.) "But those who drive cars that are too big, who still eat meat and fly to the fall vacations also have to justify themselves."
Markus Decker is completely unsuspicious of verbal froth. He is a quality journalist and correspondent for the capital city office of the Redaktionsnetzwerk Deutschland (RND). He deserves the special "Pharisee of the Week" award. In a tweet, Becker attempts to relativize the crimes of the last generation. Hashtag climate catastrophe. Too bad that Markus Decker had posted postcard selfies from the plane just a week earlier.  in which he enjoyed the sun over Qatar. There he accompanied Nancy Faeser's trip ... um ... with his usual critical eye. What does a German interior minister do on foreign missions? The typical German balancing act of moral know-it-all and financial begging.
Dear Mr. Markus Decker. You are welcome to call for asceticism while standing in front of an empty buffet. Just make sure you wipe the salmon out of the corner of your mouth and avoid burping.

4) It's already a cross with journalists. But it is also a cross with the wooden cross. It was removed at the G7 meeting in the historic Friedenssaal in Münster. Naturally, this caused a Westphalian discord. It was an organizational decision. This decision had been taken unconsciously. The German Foreign Minister tried to defend the removal of the historic Council Cross from the 16th century.
Dear Ms. Baerbock. Please finally make a conscious decision.

5) Party colleague and culture warrior Claudia Roth also seems to have a problem with the Christian faith. So she wants to "superimpose" two Bible quotations. These Bible quotations are below the golden cross on the dome of the Humboldt Forum. Ms. Roth sees the Bible quotes as a blow to cosmopolitan Berlin.
Oh my God, Ms. Roth. I think that every religion should be tolerated in the 21st century. From Christianity to Islam to the climate sect, the Greens.

6.) "I didn't know how sad I should look." 
From the green Roth to the red Scholz. You remember. This is the one who shouted "You'll never walk alone" to 83 million citizens. Now our chancellor is doubled over with laughter as he recounts a conversation with a citizen who confessed his energy woes to him. Scholz imitates this citizen and cannot hide his amusement and mockery. Let someone else say that Scholz is insensitive. I just have one question. The Office for the Protection of the Constitution is allowed to observe citizens who ridicule politicians. Does the Office for the Protection of the Constitution also monitor a chancellor who disparages citizens?

7) Were those too clear words that could be dangerous for me? No. After all, freedom of speech prevails in Germany. The best proof of this is a ruling by the Ellwangen Regional Court. Lauterbach's lie that the vaccination has no side effects is not really a lie and is covered by the right to freedom of opinion.
That gives me hope. Perhaps naming and exposing the lie will soon also fall under freedom of expression and will not be condemned as hate speech by the Ellwangen District Court.

8.) "Digital cash can make our everyday lives easier and be a growth driver for the economy."
From green to red to yellow and to Christian Lindner. As finance minister, Christian knows a thing or two about economics. So he likes to tweet himself a wolf and cheer and promote the introduction of a digital euro. After all, the abolition of cash is one of the last conspiracy theories that has not yet come true.
What exactly is digital cash, Mr. Lindner? Let me help you. Digital cash is like an old boy or a vegan steak. Great poets like to use the rhetorical device oxymoron. People who aren't quite right do it unconsciously. I don't think Lindner is Lessing.

9) I come to the good news and Deutsche Bahn. Better infrastructure? Affordable prices? Trains on time? Less violence? No. I mean the really important things. Deutsche Bahn is finally queer-friendly. As part of Diversity Week, the state-owned company announced the liberalization or abolition of the dress code. At last, women are allowed to wear suits and men skirts. I do hope that the first Mrs. Doubtfire to check up on me shaves her legs.

10.) "How can someone who does and says so many really stupid things have made it this far in life?"
That's what Sawsan Chebli asked herself as she thought aloud about Elon Musk. Projection, Ms. Chebli, projection. Nils Dampz, Jan Böhmermann and Sarah Bosetti are currently discussing the widespread phenomenon of projection in their self-help group. I'm sure there's still room in the group. I can answer your question by quoting the author Anaïs Nin. As far as I know, she was not in the AfD.
"We don't see things as they are. We see them as we are."